Tagged: 2020
The Big Door Prize
The Big Door Prize: A Novel by M. O. Walsh, 2/5
When the TV show based on this novel committed the crime of a season-ending cliffhanger, followed by permanent cancellation, I hoped to find the closure and answers I wanted so desperately by reading the book. Unfortunately, there is so little similarity between the two that it actually raised more questions than it answered, such as why on earth would the show writers keep the same weirdly unrelated title when they were planning to change almost everything else about the story? I am not exaggerating–saying the show is based on this book is the equivalent of creating a sci-fi series about a time-traveling jeweler and saying it’s based on Lord of the Rings.
Now, this cannot be a fair review of the novel because I admittedly spent the first half of it struggling to re-picture all the characters, and the rest trying to reconcile the vast differences between the charming TV series I had enjoyed and the bleak, depressing, comparatively unimaginative plot of the novel.
SPOILERS AHEAD
So how does the story actually end? Well, I read a lot of Reddit threads on the topic and was surprised that practically no one provided a detailed answer to this question, possibly because the answer is not revealed until the last few pages of a book that is almost unbearably dull in comparison to the show. In the novel, it is revealed that the obnoxious town photographer, Bruce “Deuce” Newman (the character on whom the show’s “Giorgio” is loosely based), created the DNAMIX (Morpho) machine as part of an art project to capture images of all the townspeople and use them to create a giant mosaic of Cherilyn (Cass), with which he hoped to win her love by displaying it at the town’s bicentennial celebration. At first, he entertained himself by writing specific “potentials” for people, but eventually he just set it to random. The book ends with him moving on from his obsession with Cherilyn, who renews her relationship with her husband, Douglas Hubbard (Dusty). In a less-uplifting subplot, Trina fails in her attempt to frame Jacob as a school shooter in punishment for sexual abuse resulting from his now-dead twin brother’s abandonment of her at a drunken high school party.
Why I read it: to get closure for the cancelled TV show based on the novel.
The Thursday Murder Club
The Thursday Murder Club: a novel by Richard Osman, 5/5
The only mystery left unsolved at the end of this charming, witty, and absolutely delightful novel is how something so polished and sparkling could be the author’s first. I read it in one day and didn’t handle distractions too gracefully, I’m afraid. It made me laugh, it made me cry, and I especially appreciated how the author took his time at the end instead of wrapping up too hastily.
Why I read it: Frustratingly, I can’t remember how I heard of this series.
Know Your Cows
Know Your Cows by Jack Byard, 2/5
Repetitive text and limited photos, which range in quality from “acceptable” to “2000s cell phone camera,” make this small spotter’s guide a disappointing read and a reference of doubtful usefulness.
Why I read it: There are so many cows around that I thought it would be fun to learn more about them.
Before and After the Book Deal
Before and After the Book Deal: A Writer’s Guide to Finishing, Publishing, Promoting, and Surviving Your First Book by Courtney Maum, 3/5
Despite Maum’s humorous approach, I found this insider perspective on the book publishing process to be quite off-putting. Seeing the business side of books is truly like visiting the proverbial sausage factory and I am not a happier reader for coming to the realization that “author” hovers near the very bottom of any list of viable career choices, below even those perennial classics–“actor” and “musician.” This state of things is not Maum’s fault, but it is not Donald Trump’s fault either, which is a fact she seems to struggle with at several points in this exceedingly woke book.
Why I read it: it was on a list of recommended resources for writers on my Instagram feed.
The Midnight Library
The Midnight Library: A Novel by Matt Haig, 4/5
It feels petty to complain that this deeply meaningful novel about existential crisis and regret boils down to a few cliches and wraps up a little too tidily–the fact remains that I read it greedily in one sitting, shedding a few tears in the process. I couldn’t shake an intense feeling that it was written just for me, which I’m sure is exactly how many other readers feel and is a testament to the author’s writing skill and insight into the mental struggles of modern existence.
Why I read it: an oft-mentioned entry in the comments on an Instagram post about favorite (or most meaningful–I can’t remember which) books.
Discipline Equals Freedom
Discipline Equals Freedom: Field Manual MK1-MOD1 (expanded edition) by Jocko Willink, 2/5
Reading this book is certainly more convenient than buying 200 motivational posters and sitting in a dark room while someone shouts their slogans in your ear and smacks you with the cardboard tubes they were shipped in.
Why I read it: my husband bought it.
The Code. The Evaluation. The Protocols.
The Code. The Evaluation. The Protocols. Striving to Become an Eminently Qualified Human by Jocko Willink, with Dave Berke and Sarah Armstrong, 1/5
I have a ton of respect for Jocko Willink…BUT…this book is so absolutely ridiculous that I’m not even sure if his advice to “Set physical goals like running a 5K or deadlifting 8000 pounds” (2.4) is a typo or not. Overlooking the trademark typewriter font (which is borderline unbearable), awkward formatting, and repetitive language, I still cannot imagine many scenarios in which a rigorous, score-based method of evaluating one’s progress towards godhood would be necessary or useful. The “Protocols” are a one-size-fits-all series of steps for addressing each of life’s little problems (such as death, trauma, and addiction) in a style that can only be described as bizarrely confident and obliviously motivational.
Why I read it: my husband bought several of Jocko’s books.
Leadership Strategy and Tactics
Leadership Strategy and Tactics: Field Manual by Jocko Willink, 3/5
I appreciate the specific leadership (and followership) scenarios that Willink addresses in this book, but it feels somewhat contrived and disjointed. I suspect it would make a better reference resource than a cover-to-cover read.
Why I read it: working my way through Jocko Willinks’ books, if slightly out of order.
Clanlands
Clanlands: Whisky, Warfare, and a Scottish Adventure Like No Other by Sam Heughan and Graham McTavish, 2/5
From a literary perspective, it’s frankly shocking that something so closely resembling a shared Google Doc rough draft somehow survived the publishing process and exists in book form. Unpolished, unfocused, and overflowing with “cringe,” this book waffles between authors’ perspectives just like it waffles between travelogue, memoir, history and reality TV pitch. There were a few humorous moments and interesting historical facts, but I don’t think it has much to offer anyone outside of its target audience–Heughligans and fans of Outlander. Perhaps surprisingly, given my opinion of the book, I did enjoy its associated TV show, Men in Kilts.
Why I read it: my mother-in-law generously lent me her brand new copy while we were on a hunting trip.
Solutions and Other Problems
Solutions and Other Problems by Allie Brosh, 5/5
My advice, do not read this in any place where laughing out loud would be inappropriate. Brosh’s bizarre take on life would be funny no matter the presentation medium, but there is something about her deranged drawings in particular that just becomes more hysterical the longer you look at them. Also, this book is huge! Like really substantial: the pages are thick and it weighs a ton. I still read it in basically one sitting, though.
Why I read it: I’ve been a fan ever since encountering her website years ago, but since she doesn’t update it very often, I found out about this newest book from my brother. I was somewhere around 50th in line at the library when I put it on hold, but it was worth the wait!
OmniRambles 