How to Win Friends & Influence People: The Only Book You Need to Lead You to Success by Dale Carnegie, 3/5

In today’s saturated self-help market, it takes a little imagination to understand just how novel and influential this first-of-its-kind work must have been, back in 1936. Carnegie’s “principles” are practical and based on a commonsense understanding of psychology that, though now well-worn, have stood the test of time. Charming anecdotes illustrate the following principles:

Three Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
Principle 1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six Ways to Make People Like You
Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
Principle 2: Smile
Principle 3: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
Principle 6: Make the other person feel important–and do it sincerely.

Win People to Your Way of Thinking
Principle 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Principle 2: Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
Principle 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Principle 4: Begin in a friendly way.
Principle 5: Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
Principle 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Principle 7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
Principle 8: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
Principle 9: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
Principle 10: Appeal to the nobler motives.
Principle 11: Dramatize your ideas.
Principle 12: Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader
Principle 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Principle 2: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
Principle 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Principle 5: Let the other person save face.
Principle 6: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
Principle 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Principle 8: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Principle 9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Why I read it: a recommendation from my sister.