The Incredible Years: A Trouble-Shooting Guide for Parents of Children Aged 2-8 Years by Carolyn Webster-Stratton, 2/5

Reading this book made me feel insecure about the more traditional approach to parenting that my husband and I have employed with success for almost three years now. Having one’s ideas challenged is not a bad thing, in itself, but what made me most uncomfortable was how self-conscious I started to feel about interacting with my child. Weirdly, it was the positive interactions that were most affected; instead of feeling joy from being authentic and savoring the moment, I became focused on doing it “by the book” and adding a check mark to my mental record of parenting wins and losses. It was a gross feeling.

While I disagree with the author’s tiresome advice that, seemingly, 99% of behavioral issues are best addressed by ignoring, time-outs, or sticker reward charts, if one can glean what is useful without departing from common sense and simplicity, this book has some helpful ideas to offer. The concept of time-outs is presented in a sensibly structured way and there were good ideas for how to participate in playtime without taking over or getting frustrated (hint: imitate and describe what is happening instead of dictating). Also, since I grew up as an introverted homeschool kid, it was helpful to be reminded that integrating well with social groups is a skill that parents can help their children develop, not an inevitable byproduct of personality.

Why I read it: a hand-me-down (without a specific recommendation) from a friend.